Did you see me in the store? I am the mom with a screaming and crying toddler on the floor who refuses to listen to anything I say.
Did you see me in the store? I am the mom whose toddler is 15 feet in front of her running away as fast as he can, while looking back laughing as I try to catch up with hopes that no one steals my purse that so abruptly I left in my cart.
Did you see me in the store? I am the mom whose toddler just knocked down whatever display he could get his hands on. Or just recently who tried to climb the floral print bike at Target and tumbled down.
Did you see me in the store? I am the mom whose child is violently shaking back and forth screaming because I put him the cart thinking he just might not get in trouble there.
I am sure you saw me, and I am sure you judged me.
Shopping with a Spirited toddler is not fun. Anytime I see a mom in these same situations I try to look and give her a knowing smile, or walk up to her and say "hey you are doing a great job." Because us mom of Spirited toddlers need that kind of support. And do not judge a book by it's cover. These kiddos seems like little terrors in the store, but they are WAY more than what they seem.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Thursday, June 21, 2012
3 Generations
I had seen this idea on Pinterest and decided with my new fancy camera that I should attempt it for my father in-laws father's day gift. Despite the few things that I nit pick about it, I am actually pretty pleased with the way it turned out. Now I just need to blow it up, get a very nice frame and display it somewhere in my living room.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Lonely
Being the parent of a Spirited Child can be really lonely. To quote my favorite movie Titanic " I feel like I am standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up."
I feel like grabbing people and shaking them until they UNDERSTAND. Of course then you have the quote "You can't shake sense into people." So I find myself surrounded by people who feel like throwing their ineffective advice at me. I find myself surround by "shut your kid up" stares and "control your child" looks. It is easy to let it beat you down day in and day out. Then who do you turn to? You don't. You have no one because everywhere you look there are children who sleep all night, who walk beside their parents, who listen, who are easily calmed, who are not attached to their hip all day long. I bow to the person who invented the Ergo and think why the heck did I not get one sooner. That thing is amazing.
I have to rely upon myself and my own strength to survive day in and day. But sometimes you just crack (usually at 2 in morning when a very resistant and determined child will not sleep.) After week after week of 2AM wakings you are worn down, tired, drained, discouraged and lost. Then those feelings of loneliness hit full force.
But like I said before.....I won't give up.
I feel like grabbing people and shaking them until they UNDERSTAND. Of course then you have the quote "You can't shake sense into people." So I find myself surrounded by people who feel like throwing their ineffective advice at me. I find myself surround by "shut your kid up" stares and "control your child" looks. It is easy to let it beat you down day in and day out. Then who do you turn to? You don't. You have no one because everywhere you look there are children who sleep all night, who walk beside their parents, who listen, who are easily calmed, who are not attached to their hip all day long. I bow to the person who invented the Ergo and think why the heck did I not get one sooner. That thing is amazing.
I have to rely upon myself and my own strength to survive day in and day. But sometimes you just crack (usually at 2 in morning when a very resistant and determined child will not sleep.) After week after week of 2AM wakings you are worn down, tired, drained, discouraged and lost. Then those feelings of loneliness hit full force.
But like I said before.....I won't give up.
Friday, May 18, 2012
I Won't Give Up
This week has been a major struggle for me as a mother of a spirited toddler. It's been a rough road for sleep, especially last night. I am experiencing the "why me's" again. I am feeling oh so very inadequate, like I am not capable of raising such a determined, persistent, and intense little human being.
So today on one of my many drives to Walmart with Tristan in the back seat I am feeling very depressed. I really couldn't hold it in anymore and I just start crying. It's been a long time since I have cried as the mother of a spirited toddler, but there I was bawling in the drivers seat. I was angry, and I was discouraged. I was angry and discouraged with myself. I was angry and discouraged with my situation. I was angry and discouraged with God. So what do you do in that situation? You pray.
As I am praying and talking with God I turn off my Jewel CD and turn on the radio. And that is when this song came on. It was like a bright light shinning in my life at that moment. I don't think I could pinpoint better words for my relationship with my son.
And all of a sudden, I felt hopeful again.
Jason Mraz "I Wont Give Up"
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/jason-mraz-i-wont-give-up-lyrics.html ]
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't tend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I'm still looking up
I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
So today on one of my many drives to Walmart with Tristan in the back seat I am feeling very depressed. I really couldn't hold it in anymore and I just start crying. It's been a long time since I have cried as the mother of a spirited toddler, but there I was bawling in the drivers seat. I was angry, and I was discouraged. I was angry and discouraged with myself. I was angry and discouraged with my situation. I was angry and discouraged with God. So what do you do in that situation? You pray.
As I am praying and talking with God I turn off my Jewel CD and turn on the radio. And that is when this song came on. It was like a bright light shinning in my life at that moment. I don't think I could pinpoint better words for my relationship with my son.
And all of a sudden, I felt hopeful again.
Jason Mraz "I Wont Give Up"
When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
Well there's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find
'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/jason-mraz-i-wont-give-up-lyrics.html ]
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts
We got yeah we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't tend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn, how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not
And who I am
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
I'm still looking up
I won't give up on us
God knows I'm tough, he knows
We got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
The Transition
I will most likely have a few posts about Transitions, but this one is about me. I feel like I was finally getting a hold of raising my spirited child but then all of sudden my spirited baby turned into a full blown spirited toddler and I am completely lost again. Talk about a confidence destroyer.
I find myself with a whole new set of difficulties that become apparent more and more everyday. Sleep is still the same. He does not wake up or fall asleep easily. It often takes a long time for him to settle down to sleep, and often takes fifteen to twenty minutes to wake up. He is a restless sleeper, often moaning, crying, whimpering, and even talking in his sleep. He can be a very light sleeper, and a meowing cat will wake him up. Have a mentioned how many times I wanted to tape the cats mouth shut? Anyone looking for a very talkative cat? He goes through stages where he does not want to lay down and he reminds me of a monkey. When we go to lay him down he locks is arm around arm and tucks is knees up to his chest and clings to us like a baby monkey would to it's mother. I guess he is living up to his Monkey nick name. He would much rather sleep on our chest. But it has gotten 110% better than it used to be so honestly I can not complain.
The kid is super smart. Traditional toys just do not make him happy, and I am often thinking out of the box for toys that he will play with (did anyone say whisk?) I refuse to buy toys unless I know it is something that will interest him. He would rather sit in my lap and go through the alphabet with me, in which he knows quit a few letters. He would rather count fingers with me and play Itsy Bitsy Spider (which he can do! In his own little way of course.) Did I mention he knows 2 shapes (oval and circle) and one color for sure (purple.) He loves music, especially the guitar. His whisk comes into play here...he plays it like a guitar! It is amazing to watch how music makes his face light up.
My day to day life is still unpredictable, so still very similar to when he was a baby. His moods are unpredictable and swing from happy to mad to sad and back again all with in the same minute. His intensity is still the same, he can just express it better which leads to ultimate melt downs. If there is one thing I know how to do it is avoid melt downs. He experiences emotions so strongly. This is why the famous cry it out just does not always work. There are have been more times than I can count that he has gotten so upset that he has thrown up. It is a matter of learning his cues, and his cries. If he gets too worked up it can take minutes to hours to calm him down. At least now I can avoid the things that make him this upset, where as when he was a baby that was almost impossible. Just living as a baby made him upset.
I am experiencing extreme separation anxiety. He pretty much lives on my hip. So I never get anything done around the house. I am lucky if I get the chance to pee. I have to be quick. I turn the tv on, run up the stairs to bathroom and by the time I am done he has climbed the stairs and is standing in the bathroom with me whining. Or whining at the bottom of the stairs. God forbid I leave the room he is in, follows me everywhere. Independent play seems to be non existent right now. He needs tons of physical contact with Bryan and I. He requires lots of attention, lots of holding. He comes in for lots of hugs during the day. He has his own chair to watch tv in but prefers to be in my lap. He pretty much spends all day in my lap. This is where most of my draining comes from. He requires so much from me, and I often wonder if I even have enough to keep giving. He stretches me out so much, that at the end of the day I have nothing left. Recharging is hard.
Discipline is really HARD. Like really really really HARD. I can not even explain to you how hard it is. Many of the techniques often recommended for this age are just not acceptable for a spirited toddler. You say distraction? I say ya right. Good luck distracting a toddler who knows exactly what he wants and has the determination to get it. Not to mention the high expectations he holds. Not to mention a kid who is going to want to know WHY he can not do something. Always pushing boundaries. This is not a child will just take no for an answer because that is what mommy said and I must "obey" mommy. And you know what? I think I am okay with that. I want us to work together, to learn together. I want him to listen to me because he wants to listen to me, not because I demand it of him.
Daily routines are still a pain in the butt. You would think over time he would realize we are going to take a bath, brush our teeth and get in pjs. Or we are gonna wake up and eat and then get dressed. These things are still a battle. Gives you an idea of his determination huh? Bath time equals wash time. Yet still EVERY single time he still cries, screams, whines. EVERY TIME! Diaper changes have been happening since day one...you would think he would realize it is still going to happen. It has not changed! Nope, it is a constant battle and he often runs away now.
Guess this turned into more of what my child is doing right now than anything else. And the realization that now I truly have a spirited toddler and not a spirited baby anymore. A new chapter. Some things will be easier, and some things will totally be much harder. I have made it this far, so bring it on!
I find myself with a whole new set of difficulties that become apparent more and more everyday. Sleep is still the same. He does not wake up or fall asleep easily. It often takes a long time for him to settle down to sleep, and often takes fifteen to twenty minutes to wake up. He is a restless sleeper, often moaning, crying, whimpering, and even talking in his sleep. He can be a very light sleeper, and a meowing cat will wake him up. Have a mentioned how many times I wanted to tape the cats mouth shut? Anyone looking for a very talkative cat? He goes through stages where he does not want to lay down and he reminds me of a monkey. When we go to lay him down he locks is arm around arm and tucks is knees up to his chest and clings to us like a baby monkey would to it's mother. I guess he is living up to his Monkey nick name. He would much rather sleep on our chest. But it has gotten 110% better than it used to be so honestly I can not complain.
The kid is super smart. Traditional toys just do not make him happy, and I am often thinking out of the box for toys that he will play with (did anyone say whisk?) I refuse to buy toys unless I know it is something that will interest him. He would rather sit in my lap and go through the alphabet with me, in which he knows quit a few letters. He would rather count fingers with me and play Itsy Bitsy Spider (which he can do! In his own little way of course.) Did I mention he knows 2 shapes (oval and circle) and one color for sure (purple.) He loves music, especially the guitar. His whisk comes into play here...he plays it like a guitar! It is amazing to watch how music makes his face light up.
My day to day life is still unpredictable, so still very similar to when he was a baby. His moods are unpredictable and swing from happy to mad to sad and back again all with in the same minute. His intensity is still the same, he can just express it better which leads to ultimate melt downs. If there is one thing I know how to do it is avoid melt downs. He experiences emotions so strongly. This is why the famous cry it out just does not always work. There are have been more times than I can count that he has gotten so upset that he has thrown up. It is a matter of learning his cues, and his cries. If he gets too worked up it can take minutes to hours to calm him down. At least now I can avoid the things that make him this upset, where as when he was a baby that was almost impossible. Just living as a baby made him upset.
I am experiencing extreme separation anxiety. He pretty much lives on my hip. So I never get anything done around the house. I am lucky if I get the chance to pee. I have to be quick. I turn the tv on, run up the stairs to bathroom and by the time I am done he has climbed the stairs and is standing in the bathroom with me whining. Or whining at the bottom of the stairs. God forbid I leave the room he is in, follows me everywhere. Independent play seems to be non existent right now. He needs tons of physical contact with Bryan and I. He requires lots of attention, lots of holding. He comes in for lots of hugs during the day. He has his own chair to watch tv in but prefers to be in my lap. He pretty much spends all day in my lap. This is where most of my draining comes from. He requires so much from me, and I often wonder if I even have enough to keep giving. He stretches me out so much, that at the end of the day I have nothing left. Recharging is hard.
Discipline is really HARD. Like really really really HARD. I can not even explain to you how hard it is. Many of the techniques often recommended for this age are just not acceptable for a spirited toddler. You say distraction? I say ya right. Good luck distracting a toddler who knows exactly what he wants and has the determination to get it. Not to mention the high expectations he holds. Not to mention a kid who is going to want to know WHY he can not do something. Always pushing boundaries. This is not a child will just take no for an answer because that is what mommy said and I must "obey" mommy. And you know what? I think I am okay with that. I want us to work together, to learn together. I want him to listen to me because he wants to listen to me, not because I demand it of him.
Daily routines are still a pain in the butt. You would think over time he would realize we are going to take a bath, brush our teeth and get in pjs. Or we are gonna wake up and eat and then get dressed. These things are still a battle. Gives you an idea of his determination huh? Bath time equals wash time. Yet still EVERY single time he still cries, screams, whines. EVERY TIME! Diaper changes have been happening since day one...you would think he would realize it is still going to happen. It has not changed! Nope, it is a constant battle and he often runs away now.
Guess this turned into more of what my child is doing right now than anything else. And the realization that now I truly have a spirited toddler and not a spirited baby anymore. A new chapter. Some things will be easier, and some things will totally be much harder. I have made it this far, so bring it on!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
The Search For Scarlett
Before I got pregnant I was doing this little thing called Burlesque. It was the most self-fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life. The red lipstick, the high heels, the glitter, the rhinestones, the stage, the music it all just felt....right. My stage name was Scarlett Vixen, and she was very much apart of me. I have lost her since having Tristan and having been searching for her for a long time. I miss her. Now that I have getting close to my pre-pregnancy weight, I can feel her coming out again and I just LOVE it! I can not wait to put my corset back on.
Sadly, I know Burlesque can just never be a part of my life again. My son takes up too much of my time these days, not that I can complain about that. Not to mention do you know how expensive rhinestones are?! So with a heavy heart I lay Burlesque to rest. Now I am looking for ways to intertwine Brittnie and Scarlett so that both women can live each day fully and I can be satisfied in all areas of my life. I do not want to suppress Scarlett because she is so much a part of me it would like removing my heart. But how do you take a high heel, corset, pastie wearing sensual sex Goddess and put her into our modest modern judgmental society?
That is the idea that I am exploring currently. Any ideas?
Sadly, I know Burlesque can just never be a part of my life again. My son takes up too much of my time these days, not that I can complain about that. Not to mention do you know how expensive rhinestones are?! So with a heavy heart I lay Burlesque to rest. Now I am looking for ways to intertwine Brittnie and Scarlett so that both women can live each day fully and I can be satisfied in all areas of my life. I do not want to suppress Scarlett because she is so much a part of me it would like removing my heart. But how do you take a high heel, corset, pastie wearing sensual sex Goddess and put her into our modest modern judgmental society?
That is the idea that I am exploring currently. Any ideas?
WHERE DID SHE GO?!?!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Happy Belated Anniversary To Me!!
I can not believe I missed my blog anniversary! February 9th marked the 1 year anniversary since I started my blog and boy has it been a journey. I have often contemplated changing the name of my blog to something that more fits where I am in life right now with my son but there is just something about it I really like. I feel like I have hit "dawn" and that I am living in daylight 24/7 now. That isn't because things are easier. Actually, there are things that are a lot harder. But I have been able to change the way I look at my son, the feelings I have about my son. I no longer care what certain people think or feel about my son or the way I am raising him. I could not care less about what society has to say about him. I have come to a point where I can fully embrace who he is. I have learned to take those attributes that may seem so negative to everyone else and turn them into positives. My son is thriving and this mommy could not be any more proud of who he is and whatever he will become.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Rejoicing In Your Spirited Toddler
It is hard at times to remember all the positive when there seems to be a lot of negative, especially when your are shown societies expectations day in and day out and your child just does not ever meet those expectations (but that is an entire different post.) So today I thought about how much I try to just rejoice in my spirited little man and remember that the things that make him so difficult are the things that also make him so wonderful.
There is never a break with him. I can not just sit him in the living room, the kitchen, or his room and expect him to just play while I attempt things like cleaning, homework or making food. He expects me to be right there at all times, helping him learn. He will pull book after book out and point to everything asking "whats that." He grabs my hand and pulls me to his toys where we play music together. He is usually on the xylophone and I am on the drums. Or he pulls me to his little table so we can color and he will draw circles over and over while saying "circle." I attempt other shapes, but circle seems to be the easiest for him. We play head, shoulders, knees and toes often. He skips shoulders every time but is really good at knees and toes! With all this "work" we do, which is actually more like play for him, he has learned over 35 words, can point to over 10 different body parts, can make 2 animal sounds, and knows 1 shape.
So while it's easy to feel drained by bed time, and complain because I have had no down time (thank God for 2 hour naps! Even though they consist of me doing homework. And yes this is me avoiding homework right now.) So at the end of the day I try to remember how freaking smart Tristan is. At night when he is in bed and my husband and I are sitting together watching tv I am always saying "I can't believe how smart our little guy is." My husband's reply is always "because he has you for a mommy." (Insert AWWW moment here.) Jeez I just love my husband!
So here I am rejoicing in my little man, and while he pulls me to the breaking point every damn day I must say it is worth every hair pulling moment to be able to watch him learn, grow, and develop such a strong desire for knowledge!
There is never a break with him. I can not just sit him in the living room, the kitchen, or his room and expect him to just play while I attempt things like cleaning, homework or making food. He expects me to be right there at all times, helping him learn. He will pull book after book out and point to everything asking "whats that." He grabs my hand and pulls me to his toys where we play music together. He is usually on the xylophone and I am on the drums. Or he pulls me to his little table so we can color and he will draw circles over and over while saying "circle." I attempt other shapes, but circle seems to be the easiest for him. We play head, shoulders, knees and toes often. He skips shoulders every time but is really good at knees and toes! With all this "work" we do, which is actually more like play for him, he has learned over 35 words, can point to over 10 different body parts, can make 2 animal sounds, and knows 1 shape.
So while it's easy to feel drained by bed time, and complain because I have had no down time (thank God for 2 hour naps! Even though they consist of me doing homework. And yes this is me avoiding homework right now.) So at the end of the day I try to remember how freaking smart Tristan is. At night when he is in bed and my husband and I are sitting together watching tv I am always saying "I can't believe how smart our little guy is." My husband's reply is always "because he has you for a mommy." (Insert AWWW moment here.) Jeez I just love my husband!
So here I am rejoicing in my little man, and while he pulls me to the breaking point every damn day I must say it is worth every hair pulling moment to be able to watch him learn, grow, and develop such a strong desire for knowledge!
Monday, February 20, 2012
A Poem
I wrote this poem for my Intro To Creative Writing Class and it just makes me smile so I thought I would share it because I am pretty sure a lot of moms can relate.
At first it is just a faint noise far off into the distance
of my current dream
It brings me somewhat back to reality
I am trapped between two worlds
the dream world and the real world
I continue to dream but find myself on edge
in my current state
Listening intently on what is going on around me
in the real world
But still continuously playing the dream with in my head
There...there it is
It is exactly what I was listening for
DUCK!
Duck, the first word of the day
The first of many that my 17 month old son will utter today
And I am awakened
Time to start a new day
It time to be mom
or mommy
or mama
or "WHAAAAAAAA"
Depending on what mood he wakes up in today.
But I think today will be a good day
How can I tell you ask?
Because DUCK means a good day
and when given the choice of
duck or "WHAAAAAA"
I will take duck any day.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Oh So Many New Things
I think this time has by far been one of my favorites. Tristan is learning so much in such a short amount of time that I can hardly keep up. Some things come as a complete shock for me, others I am very happy he picked up on (not that I am not happy about all the others.) Here are some cool new things Tristan is doing lately:
Words: There are MANY MANY words he says now and I am probably forgetting a lot of them.
Dada
Mama/Mom
Dog
Duck
Apple
Hot
Up
Pup
Cow
Giraffe (or affe really)
Purple
Circle
Truck
Milk
Cracker
Wazzzat (What's That)
On (Balloon)
Ice
Light
Off
Cat
Shapes:
I have working on shapes with him since he loves to play with his shape sorter. The only one he can really say is circle, but boy does he understand it! The other day in Walmart we are just walking around and he is babbling circle. After awhile I look down at him and not only is he saying circle but also tracing one in the air with his finger! He will also draw one if given a pen or crayon. It blew me out of the water. Our next shape is square, hopefully he catches on just as quickly.
Whats That:
Since he was oh I don't know 7 months old or so we would ask him "What's That" and point to things and then tell him what the word is. We mostly did it with ducks which of course came to be one of his very first words. I guess it would only be a matter of time before he started to point to things and ask us "Whats That." It usually comes out more like Wazzat and it took us awhile to understand what he was saying. But now he goes around everywhere asking. The kid is a sponge.
Up:
I was really really getting tired of the whining and crying when he wanted us to pick him up. So one day I decided to say do you want up? He quickly learned the word up. So now when he starts whining or crying that he wants up we ask him "What do you want, use your words" and he will say up. Ok, cool, that really cut down on his crying but then one day as he was climbing up the stairs he said up and pointed. I was like wow, does he understand the concept of up? Flash forward a few nights later after his bath he climbed up the rocking chair in his room and said up. He climbed back down and then climbed back up and said up. It was then I realized he actually understood the concept of up, and that it just wasn't a word to use when he wanted in our arms.
I guess my little baby isn't such a baby anymore. He is a living, breathing, and LEARNING toddler. Learning faster than the speed of light, absorbing everything! I just hope that I don't let him down and that I can nurture his yearning for knowledge in a way that keeps him interested in learning for the rest of his life.
Words: There are MANY MANY words he says now and I am probably forgetting a lot of them.
Dada
Mama/Mom
Dog
Duck
Apple
Hot
Up
Pup
Cow
Giraffe (or affe really)
Purple
Circle
Truck
Milk
Cracker
Wazzzat (What's That)
On (Balloon)
Ice
Light
Off
Cat
Shapes:
I have working on shapes with him since he loves to play with his shape sorter. The only one he can really say is circle, but boy does he understand it! The other day in Walmart we are just walking around and he is babbling circle. After awhile I look down at him and not only is he saying circle but also tracing one in the air with his finger! He will also draw one if given a pen or crayon. It blew me out of the water. Our next shape is square, hopefully he catches on just as quickly.
Whats That:
Since he was oh I don't know 7 months old or so we would ask him "What's That" and point to things and then tell him what the word is. We mostly did it with ducks which of course came to be one of his very first words. I guess it would only be a matter of time before he started to point to things and ask us "Whats That." It usually comes out more like Wazzat and it took us awhile to understand what he was saying. But now he goes around everywhere asking. The kid is a sponge.
Up:
I was really really getting tired of the whining and crying when he wanted us to pick him up. So one day I decided to say do you want up? He quickly learned the word up. So now when he starts whining or crying that he wants up we ask him "What do you want, use your words" and he will say up. Ok, cool, that really cut down on his crying but then one day as he was climbing up the stairs he said up and pointed. I was like wow, does he understand the concept of up? Flash forward a few nights later after his bath he climbed up the rocking chair in his room and said up. He climbed back down and then climbed back up and said up. It was then I realized he actually understood the concept of up, and that it just wasn't a word to use when he wanted in our arms.
I guess my little baby isn't such a baby anymore. He is a living, breathing, and LEARNING toddler. Learning faster than the speed of light, absorbing everything! I just hope that I don't let him down and that I can nurture his yearning for knowledge in a way that keeps him interested in learning for the rest of his life.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sometimes I just Need to F*cking B*tch
As a mom of a Spirited Child, many many thoughts and feelings get bottled up. The thoughts and feelings that come when your child is screaming and throwing a fit at Monkey Buziness because you won't let them roam everywhere that is not considered a play area. Or the thoughts and feelings that come up at 10-12-3 at night when your child wont sleep and you just know all the other mommies in your life are in bed sleeping beautifully right now and you just want to throw up on them because your trying to figure out why your child wont lay the f*ck down. However, these things can not be told to anyone because all of sudden people are lashing out at you trying to fix the "problem" (can't change GENETICS folks) or give you "advice" (99% of the time sh*t you have already tried and know does not work with a Spirited child.) And really how well do you actually know my child? Unless you are here day in and day out (NIGHT in and NIGHT out) or you are a really good friend of mine (and I have some really AMAZING mommy friends that I see at least once a week) then you really do not know my child. So in the end I really don't need your comments and I do not need your advice. I really just to f*cking b*tch to someone before I explode. Next time just try to have a little empathy, unless you want a dirty diaper thrown in your face.
This is also a post to my most amazing mommy friends who are FANTASTIC at just letting me F*cking B*tch to them night and day. You truly keep me sane most weeks, so THANK YOU!
This is also a post to my most amazing mommy friends who are FANTASTIC at just letting me F*cking B*tch to them night and day. You truly keep me sane most weeks, so THANK YOU!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
The Cupcake Lesson
So I have been on my no sugar 90 Day Challenge for about three weeks now. Two weeks in I decided to make cupcakes for a get together we were having. I made Bronco cupcakes actually, blue cake with orange frosting. I thought it would be a nice surprise for my husband, and I knew the kids coming over would enjoy some cupcakes. I figured I would be able to resist the cupcakes...boy was I wrong.
I didn't eat any once I baked them. I didn't eat any with our guests when they came over. I craved the damn things for 26 hours before I finally caved and ate one. I think that must be a record of some sort for me. It was DELICIOUS! So delicious I pondered having another one. Then it accrued to me, I really didn't need another one. I didn't crave another one. I did not have to eat another one to be happy. I was content with just the one and only one cupcake that I ate. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT A MIRACLE THIS IS?
This means mind over matter. This means I AM IN CONTROL now, and that I kicked sugars ass. You hear that sugar I WIN! You may have won the battle, but I won the war. You are no longer a part of my life unless I SAY SO! So from this moment on I discovered that it is very easy for me to say no to things with sugar, and that I do not feel like I need it in my life to have a happy and fulfilling life. So ladies and gentlemen this means that I have made a LIFESTYLE change, all thanks to the amazing Body By Vi 90 Day Challenges and shake mix that tastes like cake mix! Gotta love it.
http://brittnie.bodybyvi.com/
I didn't eat any once I baked them. I didn't eat any with our guests when they came over. I craved the damn things for 26 hours before I finally caved and ate one. I think that must be a record of some sort for me. It was DELICIOUS! So delicious I pondered having another one. Then it accrued to me, I really didn't need another one. I didn't crave another one. I did not have to eat another one to be happy. I was content with just the one and only one cupcake that I ate. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT A MIRACLE THIS IS?
This means mind over matter. This means I AM IN CONTROL now, and that I kicked sugars ass. You hear that sugar I WIN! You may have won the battle, but I won the war. You are no longer a part of my life unless I SAY SO! So from this moment on I discovered that it is very easy for me to say no to things with sugar, and that I do not feel like I need it in my life to have a happy and fulfilling life. So ladies and gentlemen this means that I have made a LIFESTYLE change, all thanks to the amazing Body By Vi 90 Day Challenges and shake mix that tastes like cake mix! Gotta love it.
http://brittnie.bodybyvi.com/
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Funeral
At some point I think I need some kind of symbolic funeral ceremony. Some kind of closing chapter on something I like to call my phantom child. Before you have children you create this ideal of what having children is going to be like, what each child is going to be like, what you your family is going to be like. Of course, like many of you know that all changes once you actually give birth. What people don't realize is that is really all comes crashing down when you realize you have a spirited child. You experience this type of grief. You find yourself grieving your own ideal of parenthood, your anticipations of raising your child, and this phantom child you created in your head over the years. All of it has to go out the window before you can take on the new challenge that is your REAL life and blood child.
It's like suddenly you realize your little firecracker octagon (notice I did not say square or circle or triangle..no because those are still too simple of shapes and the Lord knows that spirited children are far from SIMPLE) does not fit into this word of squares, circles, and triangles. Take for example my trip to Monkey Buziness this week with a fabulous mommy friend of mine and her daughter (Tristan's girlfriend.) As a parent of a spirited child you can not help but to notice all these toddlers that are quite content to hang out in the crawler section and play with the toys there (where his girlfriend had to stay.) Okay, fine he does not want to hang out with the "babies." So we head out into the big kid play area. He does great for awhile until he sees an open door. He heads straight for the open door and then proceeds to check out everything that is NOT A TOY. He insisted on exploring everything else. I mean we ended up in the empty birthday party room...no toys! I pick him up and take him back into the play zone, but does he want to be in the play zone, no of course not. He heads straight back for the door and throws a fit when I wont let him out, all while all these all toddlers are so happy just going down the same slide 50 million times. So we head back into the baby section so I can visit with my mommy friend, guess who not only throws a fit because he did not want to be in there with all these fabulous toys but he was so determined that he also learned to open the dang door and escape! I thought this area was supposed to be for babies up to 2. It can not even contain my 16 month old!
So of course I go home and feel defeated. And of course I am sitting here thinking why can't my toddler be happy and content like all the other toddlers in a fabulous open space with tons of toys and things to climb. I mean that is what I had imagined with my phantom child. But my phantom child is dead, and what I have is my real live breathing bleeding amazing toddler Tristan who apparently is just always going to be outside the box somehow (figuratively and literally, in case you haven't been to Monkey Business all the play area is is an enclosed box).
Services will be held someday when I can afford the funeral. Until then R.I.P Phantom Child K. You shall be missed.
It's like suddenly you realize your little firecracker octagon (notice I did not say square or circle or triangle..no because those are still too simple of shapes and the Lord knows that spirited children are far from SIMPLE) does not fit into this word of squares, circles, and triangles. Take for example my trip to Monkey Buziness this week with a fabulous mommy friend of mine and her daughter (Tristan's girlfriend.) As a parent of a spirited child you can not help but to notice all these toddlers that are quite content to hang out in the crawler section and play with the toys there (where his girlfriend had to stay.) Okay, fine he does not want to hang out with the "babies." So we head out into the big kid play area. He does great for awhile until he sees an open door. He heads straight for the open door and then proceeds to check out everything that is NOT A TOY. He insisted on exploring everything else. I mean we ended up in the empty birthday party room...no toys! I pick him up and take him back into the play zone, but does he want to be in the play zone, no of course not. He heads straight back for the door and throws a fit when I wont let him out, all while all these all toddlers are so happy just going down the same slide 50 million times. So we head back into the baby section so I can visit with my mommy friend, guess who not only throws a fit because he did not want to be in there with all these fabulous toys but he was so determined that he also learned to open the dang door and escape! I thought this area was supposed to be for babies up to 2. It can not even contain my 16 month old!
So of course I go home and feel defeated. And of course I am sitting here thinking why can't my toddler be happy and content like all the other toddlers in a fabulous open space with tons of toys and things to climb. I mean that is what I had imagined with my phantom child. But my phantom child is dead, and what I have is my real live breathing bleeding amazing toddler Tristan who apparently is just always going to be outside the box somehow (figuratively and literally, in case you haven't been to Monkey Business all the play area is is an enclosed box).
Services will be held someday when I can afford the funeral. Until then R.I.P Phantom Child K. You shall be missed.
Monday, January 9, 2012
No Wonder America Is Overweight
Tomorrow marks the 1st week of my no sugar goal on my Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge and let me tell you how hard it is! Do you realize what all has sugar in it? I mean added sugar, like the white processed stuff. You know Mary Poppins and the "spoonful of sugar" thing. Yea that sugar.
You have to learn to read the labels, and not just the nutrition panel but the ENTIRE label...meaning the ingredients. You can look at the nutrition panel and see 41g of sugar, (think of that in Mary Poppins terms and you have 41 teaspoons of sugar. Can you eat 41 teaspoons of sugar alone? I can't either, so why drink/eat it?) which is a lot of sugar, but you HAVE to read the ingredients too. If there is no added word SUGAR in the ingredients (like in 100% Apple Juice) then what you are eating/drinking is natural sugar just like that found in fruit. I just can not believe all the things that have added sugar in them that really do not need sugar. Things like:
Peanut Butter
Garlic Bread
ANY Bread (including whole wheat ones)
Marinara Sauce
Tortillas
Soup
Oatmeal
PLAIN Cherrios
Ketchup
Ranch (most salad dressings)
Needless to say I was shocked. Do we really need to add sugar to most of these things? I can't imagine hundreds of years ago sugar was readily available for our ancestors to put it into bread, peanut butter, oatmeal, and marinara sauce. So I really do not think that all of that needs sugar now! But sugar is a drug and if they can just hide the smallest amounts in their product it will keep you coming back for more because sugar is a DRUG!
Which leads me to my horrible withdrawal symptoms from "going off sugar." It included horrible headaches, grumpiness, mood swings, temp swings including sweating, and bad cravings. My poor husband, I was a bitch. I am feeling much better now. I feel level, no ups and downs like you get with sugar. My cravings are not near what they used to be. But it sure was hell getting here...won't lie.
However, the most fantastic thing of this whole thing is that I have broken my weight plateau and will (hopefully) never see the 190's again! I was stuck at the 188-191 range and I happy to announce that this morning I was 186! I will post measurements and stats and all that jazz later but I just had to share the excitement!
So if you are even the slightest bit thinking about cutting out sugar I highly recommend it. Yes it is going to be hard (and so is having a baby and women do that daily) but it is so worth it in the end. You will also realize how disgusting it is that sugar is in pretty much everything you eat. And if you need support, well I can be a great cheerleader and so are all the people that have taken the Body Bi Vi Challenge, because without them I would not be 15 pounds less!
http://brittnie.bodybyvi.com/
You have to learn to read the labels, and not just the nutrition panel but the ENTIRE label...meaning the ingredients. You can look at the nutrition panel and see 41g of sugar, (think of that in Mary Poppins terms and you have 41 teaspoons of sugar. Can you eat 41 teaspoons of sugar alone? I can't either, so why drink/eat it?) which is a lot of sugar, but you HAVE to read the ingredients too. If there is no added word SUGAR in the ingredients (like in 100% Apple Juice) then what you are eating/drinking is natural sugar just like that found in fruit. I just can not believe all the things that have added sugar in them that really do not need sugar. Things like:
Peanut Butter
Garlic Bread
ANY Bread (including whole wheat ones)
Marinara Sauce
Tortillas
Soup
Oatmeal
PLAIN Cherrios
Ketchup
Ranch (most salad dressings)
Needless to say I was shocked. Do we really need to add sugar to most of these things? I can't imagine hundreds of years ago sugar was readily available for our ancestors to put it into bread, peanut butter, oatmeal, and marinara sauce. So I really do not think that all of that needs sugar now! But sugar is a drug and if they can just hide the smallest amounts in their product it will keep you coming back for more because sugar is a DRUG!
Which leads me to my horrible withdrawal symptoms from "going off sugar." It included horrible headaches, grumpiness, mood swings, temp swings including sweating, and bad cravings. My poor husband, I was a bitch. I am feeling much better now. I feel level, no ups and downs like you get with sugar. My cravings are not near what they used to be. But it sure was hell getting here...won't lie.
However, the most fantastic thing of this whole thing is that I have broken my weight plateau and will (hopefully) never see the 190's again! I was stuck at the 188-191 range and I happy to announce that this morning I was 186! I will post measurements and stats and all that jazz later but I just had to share the excitement!
So if you are even the slightest bit thinking about cutting out sugar I highly recommend it. Yes it is going to be hard (and so is having a baby and women do that daily) but it is so worth it in the end. You will also realize how disgusting it is that sugar is in pretty much everything you eat. And if you need support, well I can be a great cheerleader and so are all the people that have taken the Body Bi Vi Challenge, because without them I would not be 15 pounds less!
http://brittnie.bodybyvi.com/
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The End of My Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge
I have reached the end of my Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge. I am sad to say I never did reach the goal I had wanted (30 lbs.) But I did manage to lose 14! That is still a big accomplishment considering my 90 days was in with the holidays and a major trip to Napa Valley (a.k.a top spot for foodies in America.) I am gearing up for my second 90 Day Challenge and am really excited to continue making changes for a healthier lifestyle, and a healthier (and skinnier!) me.
10/03 11/14 01/03
Weight 202 191 188
Bust 46.5 44 44
Waist 40 37 37
Hips 50 47 46
Leg 24.5 23 22.5
Arm 12.5 12 11.5
A total of 14 pounds and 12 inches lost! WOW!
So for my next 90 Day Challenge I plan to cut out all added sugar, all soda, and try to eat smaller portions. I really would like to finish the rest of my previous 30lb goal putting me at 172.
Wish me luck!
http://brittnie.bodybyvi.com/
10/03 11/14 01/03
Weight 202 191 188
Bust 46.5 44 44
Waist 40 37 37
Hips 50 47 46
Leg 24.5 23 22.5
Arm 12.5 12 11.5
A total of 14 pounds and 12 inches lost! WOW!
So for my next 90 Day Challenge I plan to cut out all added sugar, all soda, and try to eat smaller portions. I really would like to finish the rest of my previous 30lb goal putting me at 172.
Wish me luck!
http://brittnie.bodybyvi.com/
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The End of 365
Today is the end of my 365 Picture a Day Challenge in which I took a picture of Tristan everyday for an entire year...it's really kinda sad actually. But I must say it is nice to not have to worry about it so much anymore.
I happy to say that for the most part I succeeded, but there are a handful of times I just plain forgot one day and had to use a picture from the previous day or the next day. I can tell you it is less than 8 times this happened. 8 out of 365 I say is pretty good odds :)
So for the next year I am doing 52 Picture a Week Challenge. Wish me luck!
I happy to say that for the most part I succeeded, but there are a handful of times I just plain forgot one day and had to use a picture from the previous day or the next day. I can tell you it is less than 8 times this happened. 8 out of 365 I say is pretty good odds :)
So for the next year I am doing 52 Picture a Week Challenge. Wish me luck!
Jan 1st
Feb 1st
March 1st
April 1st
May 1st
June 1st
July 1st
August 1st
September 1st
October 1st
November 1st
December 1st
Jan 1st 2012
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