I will most likely have a few posts about Transitions, but this one is about me. I feel like I was finally getting a hold of raising my spirited child but then all of sudden my spirited baby turned into a full blown spirited toddler and I am completely lost again. Talk about a confidence destroyer.
I find myself with a whole new set of difficulties that become apparent more and more everyday. Sleep is still the same. He does not wake up or fall asleep easily. It often takes a long time for him to settle down to sleep, and often takes fifteen to twenty minutes to wake up. He is a restless sleeper, often moaning, crying, whimpering, and even talking in his sleep. He can be a very light sleeper, and a meowing cat will wake him up. Have a mentioned how many times I wanted to tape the cats mouth shut? Anyone looking for a very talkative cat? He goes through stages where he does not want to lay down and he reminds me of a monkey. When we go to lay him down he locks is arm around arm and tucks is knees up to his chest and clings to us like a baby monkey would to it's mother. I guess he is living up to his Monkey nick name. He would much rather sleep on our chest. But it has gotten 110% better than it used to be so honestly I can not complain.
The kid is super smart. Traditional toys just do not make him happy, and I am often thinking out of the box for toys that he will play with (did anyone say whisk?) I refuse to buy toys unless I know it is something that will interest him. He would rather sit in my lap and go through the alphabet with me, in which he knows quit a few letters. He would rather count fingers with me and play Itsy Bitsy Spider (which he can do! In his own little way of course.) Did I mention he knows 2 shapes (oval and circle) and one color for sure (purple.) He loves music, especially the guitar. His whisk comes into play here...he plays it like a guitar! It is amazing to watch how music makes his face light up.
My day to day life is still unpredictable, so still very similar to when he was a baby. His moods are unpredictable and swing from happy to mad to sad and back again all with in the same minute. His intensity is still the same, he can just express it better which leads to ultimate melt downs. If there is one thing I know how to do it is avoid melt downs. He experiences emotions so strongly. This is why the famous cry it out just does not always work. There are have been more times than I can count that he has gotten so upset that he has thrown up. It is a matter of learning his cues, and his cries. If he gets too worked up it can take minutes to hours to calm him down. At least now I can avoid the things that make him this upset, where as when he was a baby that was almost impossible. Just living as a baby made him upset.
I am experiencing extreme separation anxiety. He pretty much lives on my hip. So I never get anything done around the house. I am lucky if I get the chance to pee. I have to be quick. I turn the tv on, run up the stairs to bathroom and by the time I am done he has climbed the stairs and is standing in the bathroom with me whining. Or whining at the bottom of the stairs. God forbid I leave the room he is in, follows me everywhere. Independent play seems to be non existent right now. He needs tons of physical contact with Bryan and I. He requires lots of attention, lots of holding. He comes in for lots of hugs during the day. He has his own chair to watch tv in but prefers to be in my lap. He pretty much spends all day in my lap. This is where most of my draining comes from. He requires so much from me, and I often wonder if I even have enough to keep giving. He stretches me out so much, that at the end of the day I have nothing left. Recharging is hard.
Discipline is really HARD. Like really really really HARD. I can not even explain to you how hard it is. Many of the techniques often recommended for this age are just not acceptable for a spirited toddler. You say distraction? I say ya right. Good luck distracting a toddler who knows exactly what he wants and has the determination to get it. Not to mention the high expectations he holds. Not to mention a kid who is going to want to know WHY he can not do something. Always pushing boundaries. This is not a child will just take no for an answer because that is what mommy said and I must "obey" mommy. And you know what? I think I am okay with that. I want us to work together, to learn together. I want him to listen to me because he wants to listen to me, not because I demand it of him.
Daily routines are still a pain in the butt. You would think over time he would realize we are going to take a bath, brush our teeth and get in pjs. Or we are gonna wake up and eat and then get dressed. These things are still a battle. Gives you an idea of his determination huh? Bath time equals wash time. Yet still EVERY single time he still cries, screams, whines. EVERY TIME! Diaper changes have been happening since day one...you would think he would realize it is still going to happen. It has not changed! Nope, it is a constant battle and he often runs away now.
Guess this turned into more of what my child is doing right now than anything else. And the realization that now I truly have a spirited toddler and not a spirited baby anymore. A new chapter. Some things will be easier, and some things will totally be much harder. I have made it this far, so bring it on!
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