A Walk To Remember is my second most favorite movie of all time (closely following my FAVORITE movie of all time Titanic.) So today while thinking about the challenges and difficulties of raising my high-needs baby I thought about a particular part in the movie where where Jamie is in the hospital with Landon (by the way my next son's name will be Landon Carter after this character but only cause my husband wont let me do Jack Dawson.) She proceeds to tell him "Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I am sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel."
I started thinking that this is exactly how I feel. I've always wanted children, and when I finally have one he is different and more difficult than all the other babies I have experienced in my life...combined. Not at all what I had expected coming into motherhood. But you know what? "Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself." The big guy (or girl!) in the sky and I did not see eye to eye on the kind of baby I should have. Would a "normal" baby have stretched and pushed me to learn and grow like I have? Or would a "normal" baby have strengthened Bryan's and my relationship like Tristan has? As much as I hate to admit it in the heat of the moment, I believe God's plan was much better than my own.
Tristan-my little angel :)
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