The B.S. That Is Self Soothing

Our society has this huge hang up on babies learning to self soothe. I don't understand it. I find lots of problems with this expectation of self soothing.

1. Their just babies. If they had the cognitive ability to self soothe they would have the cognitive ability to use logic and other complex matters of the brain. They only know the basic needs of survival: eat, sleep and touch/warmth.

2. They have just experienced a extremely traumatizing event...birth. They are pulled from a world completely set up for them. Perfect temperature, always being cradled and rocked, soothing sounds and most of all always nourished. You then take them and put them in a world set up for you. "Your not hungry yet, it hasn't been three hours." "You can't sleep with me, you need to sleep in your cold room alone." "I can't hold you, you will be spoiled." "So what if you cry, your fed and changed and just woke up from nap and I have dishes to do." All of a sudden these babies went from everything being satisfied to now they have to scream and cry to get satisfaction and you ignore their screams and cries in order to get them to self soothe.

3. Do you self soothe? Last time I checked I don't. When I am upset and crying I want a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to me. Why should I expect any less of my child?

Treat your child like a little person, a mini you. Put yourself in their shoes and see how you would feel being treated that way. Babies are not little robots to be programmed or dogs to be trained. They are humans to be taught, nurtured, and loved.

Wordless Wednesday

Smash Cake!

Baby T had his smash cake photo session today! It was soooo much fun despite all the bumps in the road.

First off the photographer told me two days ago that they randomly shut down her studio so we had to quickly move the session outside. Slight panic attack on my end because I always envisioned it with the plain white background. She was able to find an example of an outdoor session which I fell in love with and I was soon breathing again.

I went to order a smash cake from King Soopers. I had heard they give free smash cakes. Well come to find out yes they do but only with the purchase of a big cake. I do not need a big cake. Tristan's Aunties were kind enough to buy him a tiny smash cake (Thank you Aunties!)

This morning one of Tristan's Aunties went to pick up the cake and IT WASN'T DECORATED! The lady said the decorator doesn't come in til 10:30. Our photo session was at 10:30. I told his Auntie to bring it to my house. Thank God I had a tub of frosting and blue food coloring. I threw on a simple decoration. It wasn't at all elaborate or what I had envisioned but at least we had a cake.

Last but not least we get to the park and my cake was melting! Stupid summer heat. Couldn't anything go right with this photo session?

Above all Tristan had fun and we enjoyed watching him play in his cake. Here is a sneak peek of his shoot today.

Breaking Free From The Chains Of Society

You are going to look at me and think I am a "bad" mom. You are going to look at my son and think he is a "bad" baby, "spoiled," and "out of control." I am going to look at you and think you are a f*cking idiot.

I am tired of people trying to fit my "square" son into societies "round" box. No matter what you do, he isn't gonna fit, I promise! He doesn't sleep through the night, he doesn't nap in his crib (or anywhere but my arms for that matter,) he is very vocal and will scream and cry often. He doesn't fit YOUR image of a perfect baby. He doesn't fit SOCIETIES image of the perfect baby. But he is MY perfect baby. While you sit there and judge me on these few things that make up a perfect baby in this f*cked up society let me tell you what you should be realizing about my son.

He has been standing with assistance since 3 months old.

He has been saying "dadada" since 4 months old.

He has been walking with our assistance since 10 months old.

He has been able to find your nose since 11 months old.

He knows "kitty." He will "meow" not only at our cat but at any cat he sees. This includes the tv, pictures, books, magnets etc.

The kids smart, too smart to play by societies rules. And because I chose to nurture these attributes that are against societal norms don't be thinking I am a bad mom. Some of the greatest people in history went against everything that was the norm to break free the chains that confine us to one idea or opinion. Maybe, just maybe one day you will find Tristan's name among them in the history books.

Inner Soccer Mom

My dad celebrated his 50th birthday this past Friday (Happy Birthday daddy!) As my present to him we went to Invesco Field and watched the Denver Broncos practice. It was hot, I got sunburned, and we sat and waited for a long time. In this waiting I was able to observe the people around me and noted that most of them were families. Little boys in team jerseys chatting away about their favorite players, jumping up and down in their seats anxiously waiting to see their favorite football heroes. Moms were forcing water in their mouths and trying to get them to sit down, dads just watched with glimmers of pride in their eyes. All of a sudden I got this feeling of "I want that someday."

I never saw myself as a soccer mom. I hate sports. I hate being outside. I hate all the rules and regulations, I just don't understand it. But there was something so innocent, so magical, so fun about seeing football through these kids eyes. It wasn't about the beer, the competition, or who wins and loses. I've never seen that side of sports before, but then again why would I before having my own child.

So maybe someday I will be a soccer mom, of course only if Tristan wants to play soccer. However, I will be more than perfectly content if he wants to stay indoors and be a World of Warcraft fanatic too.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday