The key words are so far. Watching your baby be sick and not having any ability to make him feel better I think has to be the most God awful feeling in the ENTIRE world. When he looks up at you with these eyes that say "take the pain away mommy," you don't know what to do but break down. And break down I did. There is where my belief in a God gets stronger, because of a little thing called Mommy Survival Mode. I know that I lost it then. I spent 10+ hours a day for several days glued to the coach with a sleeping baby in my arms. I had very little sleep, I did not eat at all. This is where Mommy Survival Mode kicks in. This is where there HAS to be something bigger involved. You are in a zone where nothing else matters but the comfort of the tiny little being in your arms, a tiny little being that YOU created. Looking back, ya it sucked. It REALLY SUCKED! But would I change it? Nope. Would I do anything different? NOPE. If all the misery I experienced brought even just the tiniest amount of comfort to that baby boy of mine that it was all worth it and I would do it again in less than a heartbeat. In fact I can guarantee that I will probably be doing again someday.
It started with just some minor cold virus. Then his poor ears seemed to be bothering him. Now he has always been one to just play with his ears, but this time he was pushing on them...hard. This was out of the ordinary, so I took him to his doctor. She prescribed him amoxicillin. Around day 4 on the stuff he started to get a rash. The rash just got worse until he looked like he was sunburned. I spent 5 days in the doctors and a day in the hospital. I thought it would never end.
Note to self...he is never to get amoxicillin again.
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