Raising Your Spirited Child: Progress Not Perfection

If you look at today, right now one might think "oh my gosh your child still can not put themselves to sleep," or "oh my gosh your child can not behave." In my book book they discuss expecting "Progress not Perfection" in your spirited child. Yes my child still can not put himself to sleep, but if you look back at one year ago this time our bedtime routine took HOURS that included bath, lotion/massage, nursing to sleep with white noise on, slowly moving to a rocker, rocking for 5-10 minutes, and then moving his rocker into our room. Just before his birthday it was bath, then bottle while rocking, rocking to a deep deep sleep and then moving to his crib. Still took a long time. These days we have made huge PROGRESS which includes sometimes being able to just relax him to a state of almost sleep, lay him down and he goes to sleep maybe 30% of the time. He actually wants to sleep in his crib now, as opposed to sleeping on us all the time. This is amazing PROGRESS!

So I guess my point being instead of looking for perfection in your children or striving to make a "perfect" child who does "perfect" things, look back at how much your child has learned over just the last few months, how much they have grown. This is how you should measure yourself as a parent: not how perfect your child is or how perfect of a parent you think you are, but how perfectly your child is learning and growing. After all life is all about learning and growing, whether you are one or a hundred and one.

Only Putting In As Much As You Get Out

There comes a point where you just have to throw your hands up and say "F*ck it!" I think I seriously have hit this point. I can not be everything to everyone, and I am tired of trying. I have decided that I am going to start putting in as much effort as I get out, therefor not exhausting any emotional, mental, or physical part of me on things and people that don't return the effort. I have one little being in my life that I GIVE MY EVERYTHING to, and frankly all that energy I waste elsewhere can be better used with my son because you know what?! He means more to me than anything else in the world.

2012: Spending Freeze

I am going to attempt my very first spending freeze (eeekk! I like to spend money.) So January there will be no excess spending, and everything will be budgeted. I have some huge goals in 2012 that I want to save up for. Things like:

Staying on my Body By Vi lifestyle, which is very expensive but worth it.
brittnie.bodybyvi.com

Our 5 year wedding anniversary trip to somewhere tropical (still deciding.)

Bumping up our savings to have another baby sometime in 2013

A few home renovations including an above stove microwave, painting our bedroom and bathroom, some new fixtures in the guest bathroom, and maybe a new paint job on the house.

So wish me luck! I will check in at the end of the month.

Raising Your Spirited Child: Turning Negatives Into Positives

Spirited children often get a bad reputation, and society is often plastering negative labels on them. I can't sit here and blame society though, because often I am doing it too! Words have such a strong impact on our children and  when we sit here and tell them how "demanding" "loud" and "whiny" they are they will create a negative self image for themselves. My book discusses spinning those negative labels into positive one. So here is goes!

Old Negative Label                          New Positive Label

Demanding                                       High Expectations
Unpredictable                                   Flexible
Loud                                                Enthusiastic
Stubborn                                          Persistent, assertive, and goal oriented
Wild                                                 Energetic
Manipulative                                     Charismatic
Anxious                                            Cautious
Explosive                                          Dramatic
Picky                                                Selective

How often have you used the words on the left to describe your child? How about on the right? I am very guilty of using all of the words on the left to describe Tristan, and in turn have spun this web of negativity about my child, when there is so much that is positive about him! I vow from now on to work on spinning my words so that they describe the very best in my child, so that one day he can see the very best in himself.

"Raising Your Spirited Child"

On Tristan's doctor's recommendation I started reading "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Let's just say I burst into tears the first two paragraphs. It really is amazing to read about other people who just seem to UNDERSTAND your child and your situation. It is amazing to not feel so alone in your battles and struggles with your spirited child. So I am sure as time goes on, you will be seeing many posts about this book as I have tons of them swimming in my head.

Word Explosion

All of a sudden Tristan has just been spitting out all kinds of words! I love just watching the wheels turn, and the light come on inside his head. Here is our word count so far:

Dada
Mama/Mom
Dog
Duck
Apple
Hot
Up
Pup
Cow (which is more like owww right now lol)

It is just so amazing to be able to turn through a book, ask him what this is and have him actually respond with the right word! It is a learning adventure everyday. Everyday he points to things and wants the word for it. I know right now he is just listening and storing up the information for the real word explosion that his doctor says hits about 18 months. I cant wait to see what comes out of his mouth next! (Hopefully it's appropriate)

Napa Valley

So this year my very bestest friend Julie turned 25!! WOOHOO! We are reaching a quarter of a century old...YAY! Oh my gosh we are old. Well it seems like it since like my husband, her and I have known each other for 12 years. She really wanted to do something special this year so I (and another friend) planned an amazing trip to beautiful NAPA VALLEY! It should be a requirement that all women visit this place before they die because it is so breathtaking! I don't even like wine lol. We spent 4 days there, which by the way is not enough time. You need at least 5. Bryan's amazing Aunt Donna Lee Kreutzer helped me book the flight and hotel. She is a travel agent at Cruise Holiday at the Ranch. WONDERFUL! Worked with our budget too.

We arrived Thursday to our hotel Marriot Napa Valley Hotel and Spa. Beautiful hotel. We meet Blossom at the front desk who is the manager of the place. She upgraded us to concierge level for FREE, switched our room to one with better views, and gave Julie a free bottle of birthday wine. FABULOUS! Our room was very nice with 2 full beds that were amazingly comfortable. We never wanted to leave them, but I planned a lot of activity on our trip. Thursday night we had dinner at Ristorante Allegria, an amazingly delicious Italian restaurant in downtown Napa. They gave us free appetizers and a free birthday tiramasu. Very yummy!

Friday was my favorite, we bought tickets for the Napa Valley Wine Train!! I had never been on a train before so I was as giddy as a child at Christmas. It was so much fun. I made sure we upgraded to the Vista Dome car, which if you are taking the train you HAVE to do this. It is more private, and sits higher so you get a great view of the vineyards. The food was amazing...a four course lunch. The views were spectacular. And we got to tour the train! It is way hard to walk on a moving train, let alone to pee on a train! It was so much fun.

Saturday was our visits to the vineyards. We tasted at two wineries and toured two. Our first stop was Artesa. Artesa is built into a mountain, and was gorgeous! The wine was ok lol. 

After Artessa was Mondavi. The wine was ok lol. 

After Mondavi should have been lunch at Rutherford Grill, but the wait was too long and we had to be at our next stop at with in the hour. We were very sad since everyone recommended the place with high remarks. So we had lunch at Gotts Roadside which was very good. The garlic fries were VERY garlicky but sooo good. Turns out the tour guide on our next stop, her husband owns the Gotts Roadside restaurants. 

Our next stop was a full blown tour and tasting. We went to Schramsberg, which is the unofficial sparkling wine of the white house. There were pictures of all these presidents drinking their sparkling wine. Schramsberg was located on top of a hill, in such a beautiful location. We went inside the caves and sampled a few of the sparkling wines. If you want real sparkling wine, made just like Champagne that comes from Champagne France then you have to get Schramsberg wine. All others are pretty much just pumped with CO2. Yes, we learned the process and it was the coolest thing ever! Let's just say I will never go into the sparkling wine business. It takes A LOT of work. 

After Schramsberg was Castello Di Amorasa. A replica Tuscan castle finished in 2007 with 121,000 square feet. The wine was actually pretty good. The tour was fun, and the scenery was fantastic! 

Saturday night we had dinner at Coles Chop house which was delicious but the customer service was not great so I do not believe it was worth the meal or the money. 

So that is my trip to Napa Valley! 

Thanksgiving

Every few years Thanksgiving falls on our anniversary. Now this anniversary is both our "being together" anniversary and our wedded anniversary. So this year we celebrated 12 years of being together, 4 years of wedding bliss, and of course Thanksgiving. What a special day! Needless to say I had plenty to be thankful for this year :)

An AMAZING husband!

A roof over our heads:

And a perfect little boy we are blessed to call our son:

What more do you need?

Hardest Moment of Motherhood So Far

The key words are so far. Watching your baby be sick and not having any ability to make him feel better I think has to be the most God awful feeling in the ENTIRE world. When he looks up at you with these eyes that say "take the pain away mommy," you don't know what to do but break down. And break down I did. There is where my belief in a God gets stronger, because of a little thing called Mommy Survival Mode. I know that I lost it then. I spent 10+ hours a day for several days glued to the coach with a sleeping baby in my arms. I had very little sleep, I did not eat at all. This is where Mommy Survival Mode kicks in. This is where there HAS to be something bigger involved. You are in a zone where nothing else matters but the comfort of the tiny little being in your arms, a tiny little being that YOU created. Looking back, ya it sucked. It REALLY SUCKED! But would I change it? Nope. Would I do anything different? NOPE. If all the misery I experienced brought even just the tiniest amount of comfort to that baby boy of mine that it was all worth it and I would do it again in less than a heartbeat. In fact I can guarantee that I will probably be doing again someday.

It started with just some minor cold virus. Then his poor ears seemed to be bothering him. Now he has always been one to just play with his ears, but this time he was pushing on them...hard. This was out of the ordinary, so I took him to his doctor. She prescribed him amoxicillin. Around day 4 on the stuff he started to get a rash. The rash just got worse until he looked like he was sunburned. I spent 5 days in the doctors and a day in the hospital. I thought it would never end.

Note to self...he is never to get amoxicillin again.

It's Been Awhile

I know that it has been soooo long since I have posted. So much has been going on. Tristan got very sick. He had a slight cold virus, then had an ear infection. They gave him amoxicillan, which in turn he had a horrible reaction to. We spent a week going in and out of the doctors office and finally hit up Children s Hospital. My poor money was miserable, mama was exhausted, and the house was a disaster. Then I went to beautiful Napa Valley! Oh and Thanksgiving was in there somewhere. I have so much to write about, that I think it needs to be in separate posts...so let it begin!